Forgiveness and Grudges


At what cost do we hold on to things that only serve to keep us apart? My husband and I talked about this over breakfast this morning.

We have all had people who hurt us or disappointed us in some way. Sometimes we close the doors on that relationship and sometimes those doors are closed on us. We are creatures designed to survive against mighty odds, so closing off people can be easier than we might think.

I wonder what the cost is if we cannot forgive? I sometimes think it allows things to fester inside us although we manage to polish up that surface so that everything looks fine on the outside.

It is not always easy, but sometimes it is. Sure, there are toxic people and toxic relationships and those situations deserve a more microscopic evaluation.  No one should stay in a relationship or friendship where there is abuse of any kind. Even with distance, though, are we able to forgive?

I hear the adage “love the sinner, hate the sin” twisted to say I may not like what you do but I am okay with you yourself. I have rarely seen that actually play out.

What of friends and family and petty disagreements that through the years can be scarcely remembered?

I do not have the answers but I would value your thoughts on the subject. Is it possible to forgive but still keep the guard up? Can we truly forgive and forget? Is the decision not to forgive someone a weight you carry or do you seldom let it cross your mind? Can you forgive and move on without dredging up the unpleasant stuff?

Just a little food for thought on this Monday afternoon.