Blog, Family

Today We Wait

Day 276

Today we are waiting.

We are praying.

We are filled with hope.

We hold on to positive thoughts.

This is family.

This is love.

We only have what we give.

~ Isabel Allende

#1LinerWeds

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Poof!

Image Courtesy of Pixabay

Day 275

I wrote a nice post and saved the draft. Came back to finish it and POOF! — it was gone.

I am accepting the vibrations from the universe and take this as a sign to let it go.

I will be back tomorrow.

Be like Elsa. Let it go!

Blog

I Could Fill Libraries With Things I Do Not Know

Day 274

Some of you may remember I built a bee and butterfly bath with marbles and we suspect a raccoon disturbed it. Recently, all the marbles mysteriously disappeared. Unfortunately, the batteries died in the trail cam so no luck in finding hints of the culprit.

There were no marks on the foil pie pan. No marbles on the ground. We did have a lot of rain which could have flooded the pan, but no marbles anywhere nearby. Raccoons will carry off shiny objects, but 30 clear marbles?

This is just the beginning of things I do not understand.

Let’s take a sextant for example. Celestial navigation has always mystified me. I cannot imagine leaving port in Europe headed for the new world. Not knowing what was there, how long it would take or the best route to get there. Were there hurricanes during the times of these early explorers? Those were some courageous people! Sometimes when I get full of myself and think I am brave, I realize I am truly a coward when it comes to larger than life adventures.

I am also amazed at how fairly accurate early maps were. Cartographers pulled information from old maps, explorers and emerging instrumentation, but how they managed to produce fairly accurate maps still mystifies me. You would not want to see the maps I might draw giving directions to or from my house. It would be obvious I did not know much about cartography.

I never took trigonometry in school. I could do math okay, but it did not interest me. I remember seeing slide rulers my dad used and later on my sister had one when she was in high school. By the time I was in school, pretty advanced calculators were on the horizon. Bottom line is I never had use for a side ruler so I never learned to use one. They will forever remain a mystery in my mind.

When I enter the world of IT, I did become fairly proficient in binary and hexadecimal. But still, I bough a hex calculator for solving those complex problems involving smainframe internal program problems.

en:User:Rolypolyman – Photo taken and uploaded by contributor., SovietTheodolite, CC BY-SA 3.0

We return now to a profession related by mathematics and science. That is surveying land. As I looked for photos, I just discovered the one of the instruments was called a theodolite. I am seeing these mysteries are all related to my lack of understanding of higher mathematics and science.

In reading a lot of old land grants and deeds, property lines were drawn from trees or streams or someone’s barn. I can understand how accuracy was needed. There are lots of old court dockets concerning ownership and division of property. We even had a bit of this in my family history. I have a stack of old papers tracking the ownership of my grandparents’ property. Resolving land ownership quarrels certainly kept someone busy.

As my sister busied herself creating an atom smasher for the science fair, I was I. The corner writing poetry and sketching.

If you are wondering how I got from marbles to the mysteries of science and mathematics, well…welcome to my brain. As I may have mentioned before, I wrote my high school term paper on ‘The Nonexistence of Time’ so I am no stranger to pondering things that spark my curiosity.

Lots going on in my world this week, so maybe this thinking is a bit of escapism. If so, it works.

aging gracefully, Blog, Love, Marriage, memories

Seasons of Love

 

Image by Rebekka D from Pixabay

Day 273

Maybe it was the post about The Lettermen yesterday or the trigger from a tv show that had me crying yesterday, but for some reason, I am thinking about love in all its splendid glory today.

Entering the autumn of my life I realize my definition of love has changed. Maybe life gives you perspective and it is easier to separate things like love, desire, passion, and longing.

I say ‘I love you’ much easier now than in my youth, but I say it acknowledging there are many different nuances of love. I love my husband, I love my friends and I love my family. When I love you, I have no difficulty saying those three magical words.

Saying ‘I love you’ in our youth carries a weight of response and expectation. I wonder how many books and movie scenes I have witnessed that expose the dangling ‘I love you’ that hangs awaiting a response that never comes.

I remember my first boyfriend. His name was Gordon M. and he was in my first grade class. I still have my class picture and see him and still remember how much I liked him. Of course he had no idea he was my boyfriend — but I knew.

I remember all the loves of my youth. They were each filled with a shy awkwardness and I felt my life would surely disintegrate into nothingness without them. Of course that is the dramatic love of first experiences.

I remember being angry when my parents told me “it’s just puppy love”. It never felt like that to me.

When I was first allowed to date, I remember going to the movies with my boyfriends. These were the times of kissing until my lips hurt and that rush you feel for the very first time. I can still remember some of the movie titles (“Prudence and the Pill” and “Good Neighbor Sam”) but I saw very little of the movies. This was a time of electric excitement.

Then confusion ensues when we start to experience the emotions of love and sex and the ramifications of both. These are the times when real heartbreak makes you feel as if everything you know to be true has been disrupted. Maybe this is when you start to realize that trust is as important as love.

Thinking back to prior marriages, I can see a lot more clearly now than I did then. I understand how longing and love can be confused and I can see clearly that ‘love’, perhaps cannot be enough to sustain a relationship.

Love has gotten easier with age. The goals and desires for companionship are easier, at least from my perspective. I remember well the day hubby and I got married. Before the ceremony, we looked at each other and agreed that if we were not In this for the long haul, then why bother?

There are probably more books, movies, poems, and quotes about love than any other topic. That tells us how powerful it is.

Love does not hurt. It does not cause you pain. Love does not co-exist for very long when anger arrives. Complacency can cause loneliness. Comfortable can have an easiness about it as long as it’s not so comfortable that the feelings dissipate. These things bring an end to marriages. Maybe this is how love dies.

I am a huge fan of Rod McKuen’s poetry. I was sad when he died. He wrote about love in a way that spoke to me. He wrote about the emotions that get confused with love. He wrote about love in the middle and late years of life, which I appreciated so much.

I recently read about Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass” and how controversial it was when first published. People were so offended they burned the book. Publishers refused to print further editions. There were aspects of love and life not to be discussed in the light of day.

I had no idea where this post would go when I started writing. I just know love seems easier now. Not lacking passion, or without feeling. Experience and time make it easier to discern the difference between love and other emotions.

It is also possible that we love ourselves and our life that we no longer feel the need to share our time and space with another person. It takes work, even when it is easy. When my father passed away, my step-mom said she might go out to dinner with other people but she would never wash another man’s underwear.

And there you have it.

On that note, I will go about my day. I try not to fall this deep in thought too often.

Three, by Rod McKuen

You see how easily we fit together,
as if God’s own hand had cradled only us
and this beach town’s population were but two
and this wide bed but a child’s cradle
with room enough left over for presents.

Tomorrow I’ll buy you presents.
Pomegranates and breadsticks,
tickets round the room and back
and red, red roses like everybody buys everybody.

Everybody’s got a diamond ring

And Sunday shoes.

Neckties and petticoats,
pistols and tennis balls.

What pleases you?
I’d hock my watch to buy you Greece
or sell my car to bring you rickshaws from Rangoon.
All they had down at the corner

were poppies with some lemon leaves.

They’ll have to do
till I can bring home Union Square.
I found a twenty-dollar bill when I was ten.
I bought a cardboard circus and a fountain pen
and a jackknife because I never had one before.
My mother thought I’d stolen the money.
I bought her perfume from the dime store,

She believed me then.

I was rich in those days,
for a week I had everything.
I wish I’d known you then.

Blog, SoCS

SoCS – Farewell Jim Pike

Day 272

Welcome to the stream of consciousness that is swirling in my head early on a Saturday morning. Linda’s prompt this week is:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “leaves.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun!


I read online that Jim Pike passed away June 9th in his home in Prescott, AZ.

Jim Pike was the co-founder and lead singer for The Lettermen.

I am taking poetic license with the prompt today to honor this man with such a beautiful voice. My sisters and I were big fans of The Lettermen, so we listened to their albums frequently.

The song that came to mind was from the musical Camelot –“If Ever I Would Leave You”, written and composed by Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner. The song is most identified with Robert Goulet although many artists have recorded the song through the years.

I am not crazy about the photos used in this YouTube video, so just close your eyes and listen.

Enjoy.


Just click this link to check out Linda’s post for all the SoCS rules. Make sure you take the time to read what everyone else had to say about this prompt.

Blog, gardening

Friday Observations

Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Day 271

Had a nice walk this morning. We encountered this guy just hanging out by a little slice of sunlight. We have not seen much of the bunnies at our place of late. Nice to see them out and about. He did not hang out after we crept a little closer.

When we came in from the walk, hubby noticed a bunch of sticks in the grill of his truck. Upon further inspection he discovered a pair of Carolina Wrens spent the day yesterday building a nest. These little birds are tireless and relentless in searching for nesting sites. Thankfully there were no eggs, so the nest was removed. I am glad he noticed it or the end result could have been much worse.

I enjoyed a bowl of oatmeal with fresh peaches for breakfast. I love fresh peaches, but not so much canned peaches. I heard a speaker years ago relate a story from his tour of a peach cannery near Atlanta. I will spare you the details, but I refrain from eating canned peaches. Tonight I will make a fresh peach cobbler before the peaches get too ripe.

Some of my tiny new cucumbers suddenly turned yellow on the vine. I suspected too much rain or possibly nutrients, but upon further research, it looks like it could be pollination failure. I was shocked to read that a number of people hand-pollinate their vegetables when there is a lack of pollinators. Does that frighten anyone but me? The majority of our flowers have long ceased blooming. Now I am wondering if I need to bring in some baskets of flowers just to attract bees again. Today I will go out and remove the little guys off the vine. Luckily, we still have a few that look good.

 

The green colors are so dominant that the cucumber does not show yellow in my phone pic, but they clearly are. Now, looking at the photo, it looks like there might be some insects involved, too.

We try so hard to have pollinator-friendly plants. We don’t seem to have any pollen bearing flowering plants that bloom in this summer heat. If you have any ideas, I am ready to listen!

This evening we went back out so hubby could test drive some trucks. Boy, oh, boy, have trucks changed!

I hope all is well in your corner of the world.