I have tried to get my thoughts to conform to my will, but it is no use. The world is too big, too threatening to have easy thoughts take up residence. I try to shut off as much news as possible but it is everywhere.
I reflect on the easy way my life has unfolded. I have been poor by some standards, but even then, never really did without all I needed to live with the things I needed to survive. I have never been homeless, never had to see my children go to bed hungry, and never had to flee the place I call home for fear of death. I never had to strike out on my own with my children, looking at the men in my family and not knowing if I would ever see them again.
Globally we have been here before. Too many times. Too much war and too much bloodshed are on the hands of the relatively small number of people who seem to rule the world.
I cannot imagine fleeing to a border country begging for help. My mind goes to how many America has turned away. I cannot imagine sleeping in a stranger’s home or in a shelter holding my children and trying to alleviate their fears. Do they speak the same language? Little conveniences like clothes and underwear and toothbrushes and family photos may be burdens too heavy to carry. Families are broken apart and those unable to flee may now be lying in the streets.
I am watching as we the privileged complain about the rising cost of gas and going out to eat and not being required to wear a mask. We still argue about a shot that could save lives. The truth is we will all be impacted by the fear, greed, history, and politics that pave the way with justifications for war.
Democracy allows for protest and complaints, but it was not long ago we all witnessed our own attack on that same beloved democracy by our own citizens.
It is a precious and precarious world we live in and perhaps this is why my brain will not allow me to shut these thoughts off. We must care.