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Thoughts On Mother’s Day

Image by anncapictures from Pixabay

It is Mother’s Day in the U.S. It can be a day of complex emotions for many.

Not every mother is a good one and some of the best qualified mothers will never have children. Some women chose a very fulfilling life without children while some women have as many as possible. Some women are the confidants that other mothers just could not be while some women are unable to create that bond.

Some mothers have wonderful relationships while some are painfully estranged. Some mothers passed away way too early, while some mothers live longer yet unable to recognize their own children. Some women experienced the pain of losing an unborn child – some by choice and some who had no choice. Some women make the difficult decision to give up a child while some women choose to adopt and love a child as their own. Some mothers did their best and some mothers did not try at all.

Whatever your relationship with this holiday, I send you love and heartfelt wishes. We cannot know what lies beneath the surface and in the hearts of women who wrestle with perhaps one of the biggest labels of life – that of a mother.

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A Pandemic Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. This is a very different Mother’s Day than most of us have ever known. I am sure there are some moms who will have the good fortune to celebrate with their children and grandchildren, but that will not be our family. We will celebrate from a distance and I will count my blessings for that!

I was 19 when my mother passed away. It was difficult to have lost her so early in both our lives. She was only 45 years old and I was 19. But even in the short 19 years I had her in my life, I felt forever blessed. She was formidable and strong and the gift of her strength has seen me through many difficult and challenging times. She was also funny. Her laugh was infectious.

She was the youngest of six growing up on a working farm during the war. she wanted to join the military, but her brothers convinced their mother that only women of questionable morals joined the military. You can imagine how proud she was when all of her daughters joined the military a generation later.

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Mom, front row kneeling. Second from the right.

Mom was an early supporter of women’s rights. She payed basketball in an all women’s league sponsored by her employer, Raytheon Corporation. She was never afraid of hard work. Her lessons in life served as the blueprint all of her children would follow.

It is hard to believe that as I sit here, almost 66 years old I can still miss my mom so much. On the other hand, so much of her floats in the air as if she just walked through the room.

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Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love and miss you so much.

 

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An Aging Mom’s Thoughts on Mother’s Day

Day 221

I was 19 when my mother passed away. I was in the Air Force and while I came home for the funeral, I was soon back on my own far away from family. It was a very hard time.

Back then, long distance calls were an expensive proposition. I remember that first Mother’s Day without my mom. I decided to go to the mall. In the middle of the mall, there were tons of radio operators (ham radio perhaps?) that had some way to offer free calls to the public for Mother’s Day.

I put my head down anxious to pass them when a woman stepped toward me and offered to let me make a call my mom. I just responded with a quiet “No thank you” to which she responded, “Don’t you love your mother?” It was cruel and hurtful. I bit my tongue and just walked away. It was a hard Mother’s Day and one I will never forget.

My mom was a tough helluva good woman. I miss her tremendously. She was not around for the birth of my own children, nor was she to ever meet any of her grandchildren. As sad as that may seem, her legacy lives on. Memories of her and her influence in our lives lasts forever.

Today is my husband’s first Mother’s Day without his mom. It will be hard I know. It will be especially difficult because Tuesday will be her burial. It is a lot to throw together in a small span of days. The family will come here after the short service, so I am at least happy he will have his family around him.

img_9854I received a wonderful surprise gift Friday from my daughters and granddaughter. Three dozen roses and a beautiful sun catcher with a hummingbird on it. They are gorgeous. I appreciate their thoughtfulness so much. I always want them to know that loving me and remembering me is always enough. The gifts I receive every day that I get to be a part of their lives is more than enough.

This is also my birthday weekend and I am still a bit under the weather, so it is destined to be a day of relaxation. We are not big bash celebrants so no big festivities planned today. I am getting calls and texts from family and friends which are always delightful and make my day!

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Image from Unsplash.com

Last night one of our daughters and her family dropped by for a surprise visit. Hubby fixed dinner and we had a nice time catching up. They brought me cards for my birthday and Mother’s Day. Then I received a text from one of our other daughters. She and her sister went together to buy me a gift certificate for a sensory deprivation float. How thoughtful! I am a little nervous but anxious to try it. I have been talking about it for weeks and it is so sweet they remembered.

This morning I received a video from my 21-month-old granddaughter singing happy birthday followed by a quick video chat. Such a sweet way to start my morning.

My husband and I will spend the day together just being. That is always a welcome way to spend a rainy day.

On being a mom:

Moms put in the work – sometimes the best mom is a dad.
Gifts are lovely, but a call or a visit is just as lovely.
Being a mom is a forever job.
Being a mom is hard, but also so rewarding.
Moms are not always perfect.
Children are not always perfect.
Sometimes families are healthy together.
Sometimes families are healthier apart.
Grandmothers are moms without the responsibility
AND I LOVE THAT!

For the many women who have lost children, Mother’s Day can be an extremely hard day. I send you my love and thoughts for this difficult day.

Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. I was fortunate to have a lot of strong mother figures in my life. When my mother passed away, my grandmothers, my sisters, my step-mom, my mother-in-law, and sometimes my good friends stepped in to fill that role. My Dad even filled that role many, many times. I could not have made it without their love, strength, and guidance. I will forever be indebted to them all.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!