Blog, SoCS

SoCS – What Once Was

Linda Hill has just completed another year of SoCS! Congratulations and thank you for all your hard work making these prompts available to all of us. I wish you and your family a happy and healthy New Year, Linda. Want to join in on SoCS? Head over to Linda’s blog to get the scoop on how to participate.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “new/knew.’” Use one, use both, use them any way you like. Bonus points if you use both. Enjoy!


Thursday, before we left Charleston, we decided to drive by the location where my husband’s mother had her condo. First a little background.

Mom lived in an area known as West Ashley in Charleston. This place brought her the greatest joy and the most pain of her life. When she moved back into Charleston, she chose and decorated her condo with pride, having no way of knowing what would lie ahead. She loved to entertain and we visited her there often.

Charleston itself is only 3ft above sea level. Stormwater runoff and drainage has always been a challenge, especially considering how much the city has grown in recent years. (It is estimated 33 people per day move to Charleston.) Add to that the fact the city is surrounded by bodies of water, well, the flooding potential is great.

Things went well for years. Then new subdivisions were built behind Mom’s subdivision. So many houses, condos, etc., all to support the increased demand for housing. Was the drainage implemented by the city’s urban planners designed correctly and was it adequate?

One night, they went to bed, and the next morning woke to find at least a foot of water throughout the condo. This was the first of four floods she experienced and this one was the least impactful.

All in all, Mom survived four floods on her property. Each time the damage was worse, and the losses more. They had to be rescued at least once by the fire department. The flood waters rose quickly. Every time it rained, she paced the floor wringing her hands in fear. The high water mark was 36 inches from the floor.

When the condos were new, I wonder if someone anticipated the future and was hushed or if they kept their concerns to themselves. I wonder if the city planners knew when they approved the inadequate drainage and authorized new construction in such a low lying area what the flooding potential was.

These floods broke her. I have vivid memories of sitting in her front yard in lawn chairs while a lifetime of belongings were paraded out in front of her, an 84 year old woman, for her to approve them being thrown into a dumpster.  Very little of her belongings could be salvaged. Flood waters are not clear water, they are dangerous and contaminated water often containing gas and diesel, raw sewage, bacteria, and pesticides. It was heartbreaking.

Eventually after years and years of fighting, FEMA and the city bought all the properties and demolished them – it was not enough money to find a new place to move, though.  Mom got her settlement the month she passed away. A sad end to a long and heartbreaking fight.

Now, other than the broken lamppost and the abandoned electrical boxes, you would never know anyone ever lived there.

 

 

 

 

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Rest in Peace Melanie

This morning I woke to the sad news that fellow blogger Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind) passed away.

She reminded me so much of one of my sisters. Witty, never afraid to speak her mind and always honest, no matter the subject.

Your absence here will truly be felt. Rest in Peace kind soul.

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56 Years and I Still Miss Him

My Grandfather
December 15, 1964. A little girl and her brother found their grandfather on a peaceful hillside where he had closed his eyes for the final time. Around him was the Christmas greenery he had gone on the hill to gather for the family Christmas. This little girl felt so sad for so long. I’m not sad any more, but I have not forgotten. I will always remember the day I lost one of the best friends I would ever have. Only now as a grandmother myself can I even begin to fathom the depth of what you knew about being loving and kind and gentle. Even now, I miss you and every December 15th I remember you with love. Not for what I lost but for all the gifts you gave me.

Blog, Home

Sometimes There is Heartache

Day 7

When I think of home the memories, thoughts and ideas are so pleasant. But there are also struggles – and loss. When you love deeply and honestly, witnessing the struggle and the loss can be the most difficult part of life. But we do move on.

This week has been precarious for me. My daughter-in-law’s brother has been going through life-threatening surgery and treatment and we have been in prayer mode for two weeks.

My niece has been back and forth to the doctors for months and watching her search to find answers is also heartbreaking.

One of my very dear friends and I talked off and on one day as we worked on trying to find balance and understanding in some difficult circumstances. The warmth, comfort and stability of a friendship is an important part of feeling at home. An outside person you can speak openly and honestly with is a critical part of having balance in our lives.

Keeping strong when someone you care about is struggling is not easy. We want balance. We want comfort. It helps us feel at home and at peace to know our loved ones are okay.

And Then There Was Michael

Hurricane Michael made landfall in Florida yesterday. The devastation is horrible to see. I can honestly say I hate hurricanes. I have been through more of these storms than I care to remember and have worried with friends and loved ones through even more. It is the most helpless feeling to have someone you love in harm’s way and be powerless to do anything about it.

It will be days before we know the full impact of the storm, just as it was days before we knew the impact of Hurricane Florence. We received a lot of rain – almost 10 inches in two days – but have only had minor wind gusts. Slowly we hear from people and our mind is at rest, but not fully. Not until everyone is accounted for.

My heart breaks for those that have or will have lost loved ones in this storm.

As much as home is in our hearts, it is also the physical place where we live. So many homes lost. Lifetimes of belongings, mementos and memories washed away or blown away in the storm. Such an experience changes the ability to feel safe in your own home. I cannot imagine I would ever feel the same about my home being my safe haven after such loss.

I Never Imagined Life Without You

Last night I received devastating news about a dear family friend who passed away. We were not close in recent times, but at one time we were very close. The loss to this family hit twice in only a few days and I cannot imagine how hard that must be.

There are some people you can NEVER imagine will one day no longer be here. This loss hit me in exactly this way. I woke up off and on all night, listening to the rain pounding against the roof and thinking about the fact this dear sweet soul was gone. I am not sure how to come to terms with this.

Loss like this is multiplied when you think about the people you would call to talk through such things. My go-to people to process feelings like this are disappearing from my life. I talked to my brother and my daughter, but after those two, the people I would have called that knew and understood the loss are no longer here for me to call. That is a tough pill to swallow. Balance is lost and it can be a struggle to regain.

IMG_7084Today I wish you a sense of stability in the place you call home. If you have experienced loss, I send you warm thoughts. Life has a funny way of re-correcting and finding balance even after the most catastrophic or devastating news.

The birds are back at the feeder and the Rose Breasted Grosbeaks will soon leave to continue their migration south.

Everyone is headed home.

“I see now how things even up, how they are squared away,
and how they balance under the law of love and justice.
No year of life is emotionally, spiritually or even materially,
all drought or all rainfall; nor is it all sun.
The road turns a little every day, and one day there’s a sudden twist
we didn’t dream was there, and for every loss there is somewhere a gain,
for every grief a happiness, for every deprivation a giving.” 

Faith Baldwin