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Day 275

I wrote a nice post and saved the draft. Came back to finish it and POOF! — it was gone.

I am accepting the vibrations from the universe and take this as a sign to let it go.

I will be back tomorrow.

Be like Elsa. Let it go!

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Letting Go

Day 124

How do you let go of what no longer serves you? I see a lot about this subject especially in the ongoing Marie Kondo frenzy. Letting go is so much more than cleaning house, or downsizing, or de-cluttering. It is an act of knowing yourself well enough to have the courage to believe there is something richer on the horizon.

I can pack things up and take them to charity, but if the essence of those things still weigh me down, then all I have accomplished is making space in my closet or my cabinets. Letting go requires a little soul-searching and a lot of opening our hearts and minds to what lies ahead.

I am a sentimentalist. I cling to tactile things that hold memories for me. The thing is, I am also guilty of holding onto things that trigger unpleasant memories just because it was a gift. This year when packing up my Christmas decorations, I finally let go of a music box I have held onto for 15 years. It was a gift from a very close friend who one day just decided the friendship was over. Every time I saw it, it brought back those bad memories rather than the joy of the initial gift. So, I packed it up and took it to a favorite charity thrift shop. I am hopeful someone will stumble upon it in the thrift store and it will again regain its joyful energy.

I am confident and content in who I am. Confidence is a blessing and the result of many long years of feeling unworthy. I quit wearing makeup 10 years ago after a lifetime of feeling like I looked terrible without it. (My mother warned me that would happen, but I didn’t listen of course.) So one might ask, why did I still have makeup in my bathroom drawer? If I look closely, maybe it’s because there might be an occasion when I would need it. Need it?

Learning to listen to our internal dialogue serves us well. Yesterday I threw it all out with the exception of a tube of lipstick that I love and an eyebrow pencil. No more reminders of the woman who felt she didn’t measure up unless she was ‘made up’. I kept two things I love because I love them. Nothing else sparked joy for sure!

I have also let go of other’s expectations and in many ways, my own expectations of who and what I should be in this phase of my life. I am excited to let the days unfold and I find myself enjoying every little morsel. Yesterday I noticed the camellias were blooming outside the guest room window. It is not unusual for this time of year when we have a sudden warming trend. I love seeing them knowing it won’t be long before the squirrels find the blooms and devour them.



Small Blessings

Day 27

Today’s blog will be short. It was a day of plans that did not quite work out the way I envisioned them. I will be fortunate to get a short blog up and continue my 365 days of blogging.


HalloweenAs everyone prepared to celebrate Halloween, we made the drive to see our granddaughter and help her celebrate her birthday. When she was born, this day was transformed to be less about Halloween and more about her. Of course as children, they still celebrate Halloween, but for me, it is about this joyous beam of light that God brought into our lives.

We knew we could not spend a lot of time because they were going trick-or-treating and we had to get home for my husband to go to class. Unfortunately, I had a bit of a relapse and we had to cut our visit short. It was not the kind of day we usually have with them and that was disappointing but it could not be helped.

We have always loved Halloween. We do not decorate any more because we do not have trick-or-treaters where we live. We used to do it up big and had tons of kids come when we lived in more urban areas. I miss it, but not as much as my husband does. It was always his favorite holiday.

Letting Go

So, tonight I had to let go of the expectations I had for the day and just appreciate the blessings I had been given. At least we made the trip, saw our children, got hugs from both our grandchildren and watched our granddaughter open her gifts. It was a day of simply enjoying the bounty of small blessings with our family.

In this world at this time, I cherish these days of small blessings.

Nothing means more than this.

“Count your blessings and enjoy them.
Live, laugh and love.
Be kind and gentle.
This is life.” 

George Pornaris