Monday Missive – What Day is it Anyway?

Another flip of the calendar has brought us into July. It continues to be that crazy mixed up world where there is so much going on and nothing going on. How is that even possible? But yet here we are.

So, just what has been going on in my world?

The end of June would have been my sister Rosie’s 70th birthday. It is hard to believe she has been gone 10 years. This week is the anniversary of my other sister BJ’s passing. She has been gone 4 years. It is all a blur, the years. My brother may need a biopsy, too, so lots of emotional thoughts these last few weeks.

My daughter’s birthday is this week so that is a cheerful note. It would be nice to see her, but that is not possible so we will celebrate with her from afar.

We are eating cucumbers, lettuce, spicy peppers, and tomatoes from the garden. We also have basil, cilantro, rosemary, dill and oregano. I have been enjoying cucumber sandwiches most days. The tomatoes are small cherry tomatoes, but they are delightful for salads.

The heat and humidity has been rough these last few days. I work in the garden when I can, but it doesn’t take long for it to be unbearable. Our walks have been early morning and less frequent. We did walk this morning. It was cool but SO humid. The neighbor’s horses were out grazing, but they were masked up which made me chuckle.

My friend Molly made this beautiful necklace for me. Her husband is a potter and made the precious bluebird. It is a piece I will cherish for a long, long time.

We still are not dining out or even doing takeout. We are quite content to cook and eat at home. We have watched all seasons of “Doc Martin” and “The Split”. Not back to back binge watching, but over 4 months. Gardening has been a nice way to spent some time.

The cabinets are coming along. Base cabinets are in place as well as the wall cabinets. Hubby is making the surface because with our confined space we could not use a prefab countertop. Pics to follow.

I started a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. I have most of the border complete but it is slow progress! I am also reading Michelle Obama’s book Becoming. Just things to fill up time.

I hope all is going well in your world!

 

 

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My Dad, Pulse and So Much More

I have felt heaviness today. Admittedly, I did not sleep well last night after taking a dose of Dramamine. I could feel the wooziness of vertigo sitting menacingly on the sidelines. I set my clock so we could walk this morning. I knew when the clock went off I did not get the medication out of my system. But there are other reasons for the heavy feelings.

June 12, 1992, I arrived at work at about 7:30 am. I was anxious to get the next week’s work tidied up because then I was off on a trip from Maine to Virginia to see my Dad for Father’s Day. My work phone rang and I picked it up. It was my step-brother’s wife. She told me my father had passed away in his sleep. I was so angry and hurt. I packed up my things, told my boss I was leaving and I did not know when I would be back. The hours and days that followed were painful. I could scarcely breathe. My marriage was already falling apart and all I wanted in the world was a hug from my Dad. It was not meant to be. Perhaps another time, another day, I will write about those next few weeks, but not today. Today, I just want to remember my Dad.

On June 12, 2016, we would slowly hear and understand the horror of the mass shooting at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, FL. It is still hard to believe. 49 innocent people lost their lives that day — all due to hate and intolerance. I will not give space here to talk about the person who committed such a horrible crime, but I will give space to those who lost their lives.

The outpouring of love from the Orlando community was breathtaking. The loss was palpable. As the mother, aunt, and friend of so many people in the LGBTQ community I will always stand for equal rights for those people who our government and much of our society would deny. The sadness still washes over me like liquid fire. It was so senseless.

Add to that the dire situation with the pandemic and the racial inequality and protests going on in our country and across the world, it is sometimes more than I can shoulder.

Today, my thoughts center around loss, of course, but more about love. The kind of love we want for every person we hold dear should be the kind of love we show everyone.

I miss you, Daddy. SO VERY MUCH.