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Fibbing Friday – A New Take on Idioms


Sometimes the truth just doesn’t cut it for a Friday. Enter Fibbing Friday, hosted by Di – pensitivity 101 – (she has the reins this week) and Frank – PCGuyIV

Here we go!

Complete the following popular proverbs or sayings in your own personal style please!

1. A stitch in time saves bleeding all over the carpet.

2. Too many cooks should really wash their own dishes!

3. Many hands make reading sign language difficult.

4. A bird in the hand will expect you to feed it.

5. Actions speak louder than trying to read minds

6. All that glitters cannot hide the tarnish underneath.

7. People in glass houses should wear their robes or expect to spend a lot of money on suntan lotion.

8. Fools rush in before the brain engages.

9. Don’t count your chickens when the rooster is in the henhouse.

10. Give them an inch and ask them to convert it to centimeters.

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#FibbingFriday – 08/24/2020

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This week, Fibbing Friday is hosted by Pensitivity101  and we have just some basic dictionary definitions to consider. Imagine with me.

1.  Aurora – A sister city to Oz near the arctic. Instead of everything here being emerald green, the city swirls in colors of blue, green, and pink. It is the glow from the city that people often mistake for the northern lights. Pack a parka if you plan to visit — it’s chilly up there.

2. Argument – A mint that leaves a slippery coating on your tongue. It is usually placed on the tongue before heated disagreements so that barbs and vile remarks flow more easily and do not get stuck on their way out.

3. Blessing – A personal event that causes you to sing out in thanksgiving.

4. Smack – A snack that when eaten makes an uncontrollable sound to emanate from the lips.

5.  Embarrassment – Another mint which slows down the heart rate and is used to camouflage the blush of an awkward situation.

6  Prickle – The brand of pickles currently served in the White House.

7.  Bloat – A boat designed to accommodate social distancing.

8.  Coalition – A regulatory group that oversees coal miners.

9.  Barrel – A measuring device. When reaching the bottom of the device, it indicates one has reached their wit’s end.

10. Zeal – A period of extreme happiness felt when a pandemic is over.

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#FibbingFriday – 05/22/2020

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This week, Fibbing Friday is hosted by Pensitivity101  and the topics are quite interesting to consider. Come into my dangerous mind walk with me.

1. How big was the one that got away?

He was 5’10” with blonde hair and blue eyes. He didn’t really get away he was released back into the wild. He was last seen driving a baby blue Camaro that matched his eyes. He’s ‘armed’ and dangerous.

2. What comes after a storm?

Worms. I know you have seen them lying around all wriggly on the wet streets after a rain. You’ve heard that old adage “it’s raining cats and dogs”? Not true. It rains worms.

3. Why do fish swim?

This is a private matter. Humans are all up in their grill trying to figure out what’s what in the fish world when they don’t even know what’s what in the human world. Please, just leave the fish out of it.

4. What colour is grass?

That depends on who you buy it from.

5. What’s over the hill?

Arthritis, cracking joints, wrinkles, retirement, and a few extra pounds.

6. What is the colour of money?

Money is the color of man’s guilty pleasures.

7. What do goats, pigs and roosters have in common?

They are planning a new revolution after finding an old copy of Animal Farm up in the hayloft. Unfortunately, the last few chapters are missing, so they don’t realize what their future holds.

8. Who lives in the woods?

Grandma – and the big bad wolf, but not for long. Property values being what they are, Red Riding Hood has a plan to get them both out of the picture. Gentrification is far-reaching.

9. What does an ill wind bring?

Pollen followed by hay fever and allergies and sneezes.

10. What is a windfall?

Similar to a waterfall, it is the time when the wind stops blowing and falls to the ground. Gravity, you know.

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#FibbingFriday – 04/17/2020

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This week, Fibbing Friday is hosted by PCGuyIV  and his questions certainly give me pause. Come on in to my alternate universe and let’s explore these questions together.

  1. What event became known as “The Shot Heard ’Round the World”?  This event came about in a lesser known town by the name of Rowdyville, TN. It was a normal good ole’ boy Friday night when old Jake told the barkeep to set up a few shots of his finest tequila. Jake was three sheets to the wind when Sheriff Crowder showed up threatening to shoot up the place.  It seems Jake had been ‘keepin’ company’ with Sheriff Crowder’s little woman. Crowder drew his pistol, fired one shot that ricocheted around the bar landing a fatal blow to the last tequila setup on the bar to which Pete replied, “give us another round, barkeep” and put Rowdyville in the history books.
  2. What exactly is a duvet? Pronounced ‘dov vet” this is a veterinarian that specializes in the care of doves.
  3. What was The Man in the Iron Mask about? A blacksmith who melted down his wife’s iron to make a impenetrable Covid-19 mask.
  4. Divan, Chesterfield, settee, and Davenport are all examples of what? Words that have absolutely no relationship to one another.
  5. Why was the Eiffel Tower built? Funny story. The tower was originally started by a father trying to come up with a building set for his sons. His first attempts were too large and unmanageable for kids, but he continued working out how to make a sturdy interlocking building set. Ever notice when you look up, how tiny the pieces look at the top? The result was the birth of the Eiffel Tower and LEGO bricks.
  6. The Harry Potter series wasn’t about a boy who finds out he’s a wizard. What was it about? The book was about Harry Dean, a potter and well known gigolo from Jersey. It is common knowledge in the movie industry his antics were the inspiration for the sensual pottery scene in the movie “Ghost”.
  7. What was Moby Dick about? About as big as a whale.
  8. What was The King’s Speech about? This well known speech was given by the emperor who had no clothes. He gave the speech in front of a packed house where he tried to convince the audience everything was normal and that he was adequately dressed. This speech was the origin of the term ‘gaslighting’ and is still a well known tactic used by leaders across the globe.
  9. If you go to a pub and ask for a “black & tan”, exactly what do you get? A nice pair of Italian shoes made by the pub owner’s father who immigrated from Italy to Ireland during the great leather shortage of 1992.
  10. What is “shepherd’s pie”? History really got this one wrong. It has nothing to do with food at all. It is the way a shepherd measures the distance between sheep in a flock. It was mis-translated from the original Shepherd dialect “sheep herd pi”.

 

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#FibbingFriday – My First Attempt

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This week, Fibbing Friday is hosted by Pensitivity101. This is my first attempt to play along and see if I can engage my creative brain. Thank you for the chance to join in and for hostIng this challenge. Now let’s get started.

1. Why do onions make you cry? Onions are bitter little pills. They have been underground in isolation and completely in the dark, only to be jerked out and served up at our pleasure. They end up vindictive and generate their toxic juices in attempt to save their very lives.

2. Why do vampires not like garlic? Vampires are only out at night — prime dating hours. In the past, they loved a good Italian meal loaded with garlic, but history has shown it prevents the surprise factor when choosing their next blood supplier. Too many young innocent women were alerted to the vampire’s arrival making it difficult for them to survive.

3. Why are individual cakes called Fairy Cakes? Fairies, being small in stature and living in rather cramped quarters, had the only known supply of small baking pans. When bakers were challenged to create small cakes for fancy finger foods, the fairies stepped up and shared their bakeware. These pastries were forever known as Fairy Cakes as a homage to the generosity of the Fairy Community. 

4. How does yeast work? Yeast is a little microscopic army that only lives for a short time. Therefore, it is dried into submission and only marches when rehydrated with warm water. Adding flour to it contains its spread and the yeast’s struggle to escape magically allows bread to rise.

5. What’s the difference between vegetable and chicken stock cubes? The color. One is the color of chickens and one is the color of dirt.

6. How many ways can you cook an egg? Standing, sitting, standing on one leg, in the kitchen, on a camp stove, on an engine block and on a very hot day, on a rock.

7. Can potatoes see through their eyes? Sadly, no. Just like we have “whites” in our eyes that do not provide vision, so it is with potatoes.

8. Why are carrots supposedly good for you? They are not. This misinformation is a marketing ploy used to push beta carotene.

9. What are dumplings? An angry wife once made beautiful biscuits to surprise her husband. She kept them ready to pop into the oven and when he came home hours late, in a fit of anger, she dumped them into the chicken stew. These little edible treats were then known as “dumplings”.

10. What are pulses? They are the hiccups of the universe.