Blog, mother, SoCS

SoCS – Discovering Golf is a Full Contact Sport

Day 279

We are back with another edition of Stream of Consciousness Saturday sponsored by the lovely Linda G. Hill.

Today’s prompt is:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “for/fore/four.” Use one, use ’em all, use ’em any way you want. Enjoy!

We lived in a rather rural community during my high school years. We had a typical ranch house on a rather nice corner lot.

My mom was an outdoor person all the way. She would play flag football or badminton with us in the yard over choosing to do any work inside the house. She loved the lilac tree on the corner and spent time tending to her planters that contained portulaca or bleeding hearts.

A lot of our conversations took place sitting on the front steps of the house. There were four of us kids and I was the youngest. After my older siblings started moving away after high school, mom and I spent a lot more time together.

For a reason unknown to me, my parents took up playing golf on Saturdays. They had both come from country roots and at that time, golf was not something we ever heard much about. I suppose after moving to Ohio, their new-found friends had a broader range of interests.

I caddied for them once or twice, but frankly, it was not fun. So, one Saturday, mom decided she would give me a few lessons in hope of sparking my interest a little more.

She rolled her golf bag into the side yard where we often played badminton and began to go over the basics with me. She covered the grip, the stance, the swing, and of course the follow-through. We talked about the choice of clubs, and what situation might call for each. It was then my turn to swing the club.

I hit the golf ball, but unfortunately just on the edge. It limped a few feet into the grass and not into the vacant lot which was my intention. Mom explained that I had lousy follow-through and took the club to show me again. “Watch closely.”

And watch closely I did. I joked as she started to swing and I called out “Fore!”. Before I knew it, I was lying on the ground. Mom had followed through right upside my head.

Luckily I was not hurt although my siblings often said that hit on my head certainly explained a few things about me! I think they were inferring it had affected my ability to think.

From that point forward, I told my mom I would not have agreed to the lesson that day had I known golf was a full contact sport.

Saturday’s are a lot easier when you can just let your thoughts flow. If you care to join in the weekly challenge, saunter over to Linda’s blog to get the skinny. Make sure you take the time to read how many takes there can be on one idea. Then come on and join in the fun.

Blog, Death, mother

Go Lightly

Day 223

It has been a long and emotional day. But in life, there are always highlights.

When we arrived into town where the small cemetery is located, I notice a street sign – Go Lightly Street. That made me smile.

When we arrived at the cemetery, I looked down at my phone. The time read 11:11. 💕

There were a lot of unexpected changes today. The minister was sick so someone we did not know held the service. He was a young minister who cared a great deal about paying the deepest respect for our mom. He was going to perform a young person’s baptism following our service. The circle of life goes on.

It was a beautiful day and the journey has come to a close. Outside I looked up to see the moon. I always love it when the moon shines during the day.

It was a beautifully cool day and the sun was bright but not hot. Standing on the hill at the cemetery, I knew mom would be pleased.

Go Lightly…

birthdays, Blog, mother

An Aging Mom’s Thoughts on Mother’s Day

Day 221

I was 19 when my mother passed away. I was in the Air Force and while I came home for the funeral, I was soon back on my own far away from family. It was a very hard time.

Back then, long distance calls were an expensive proposition. I remember that first Mother’s Day without my mom. I decided to go to the mall. In the middle of the mall, there were tons of radio operators (ham radio perhaps?) that had some way to offer free calls to the public for Mother’s Day.

I put my head down anxious to pass them when a woman stepped toward me and offered to let me make a call my mom. I just responded with a quiet “No thank you” to which she responded, “Don’t you love your mother?” It was cruel and hurtful. I bit my tongue and just walked away. It was a hard Mother’s Day and one I will never forget.

My mom was a tough helluva good woman. I miss her tremendously. She was not around for the birth of my own children, nor was she to ever meet any of her grandchildren. As sad as that may seem, her legacy lives on. Memories of her and her influence in our lives lasts forever.

Today is my husband’s first Mother’s Day without his mom. It will be hard I know. It will be especially difficult because Tuesday will be her burial. It is a lot to throw together in a small span of days. The family will come here after the short service, so I am at least happy he will have his family around him.

img_9854I received a wonderful surprise gift Friday from my daughters and granddaughter. Three dozen roses and a beautiful sun catcher with a hummingbird on it. They are gorgeous. I appreciate their thoughtfulness so much. I always want them to know that loving me and remembering me is always enough. The gifts I receive every day that I get to be a part of their lives is more than enough.

This is also my birthday weekend and I am still a bit under the weather, so it is destined to be a day of relaxation. We are not big bash celebrants so no big festivities planned today. I am getting calls and texts from family and friends which are always delightful and make my day!

Image from

Last night one of our daughters and her family dropped by for a surprise visit. Hubby fixed dinner and we had a nice time catching up. They brought me cards for my birthday and Mother’s Day. Then I received a text from one of our other daughters. She and her sister went together to buy me a gift certificate for a sensory deprivation float. How thoughtful! I am a little nervous but anxious to try it. I have been talking about it for weeks and it is so sweet they remembered.

This morning I received a video from my 21-month-old granddaughter singing happy birthday followed by a quick video chat. Such a sweet way to start my morning.

My husband and I will spend the day together just being. That is always a welcome way to spend a rainy day.

On being a mom:

Moms put in the work – sometimes the best mom is a dad.
Gifts are lovely, but a call or a visit is just as lovely.
Being a mom is a forever job.
Being a mom is hard, but also so rewarding.
Moms are not always perfect.
Children are not always perfect.
Sometimes families are healthy together.
Sometimes families are healthier apart.
Grandmothers are moms without the responsibility

For the many women who have lost children, Mother’s Day can be an extremely hard day. I send you my love and thoughts for this difficult day.

Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. I was fortunate to have a lot of strong mother figures in my life. When my mother passed away, my grandmothers, my sisters, my step-mom, my mother-in-law, and sometimes my good friends stepped in to fill that role. My Dad even filled that role many, many times. I could not have made it without their love, strength, and guidance. I will forever be indebted to them all.



Blog, Death, memories, mother

Tactile Memories

Day 148

We are out of town staying in my mother-in-law’s home. She passed away in December and we came down so hubby and his sister could address some of her affairs.

The first thing I noticed when we came in was the house still smells like mom. A wave of mixed emotions washed over me remembering how much she loved this place and how quickly cancer had taken her life.

The ladies from the church left us a gift of a prayer blanket. It was such a sweet and appreciated gesture. These ladies were her dear friends and confidants for the last 15 years and I know they saw her through some difficult times. It was so telling that they thought of us and how this loss would affect us.

The house remains decorated with her things. Her dishes, her artwork, and her furniture all evoke memories of her. We have been here two days now and of course she has been uppermost in our thoughts and our conversation. Our talks are filled with memories and wishes that she could have been with us just a little longer.

That’s how it is with those we love, isn’t it? There is never really enough time. Today I sat and read through her text messages remembering the daily struggles she had the last few months of her life. But always buried in the midst of messages from the hard days were messages full of life and determination.

Tonight as we went out to get dinner, the sun was setting behind her house. She would have enjoyed the colors of the sunset. Being here brings back a lot of difficult memories, but also brings back the wonderful memories. They far outweigh the painful memories.

Rest well, Mama. We miss you.

Blog, loss, Love, memories, mother


Day 93

The time is ripe for looking back over the day, the week, the year, and trying to figure out where we have come from and where we are going to, for sifting through the things we have done and the things we have left undone for a clue to who we are and who, for better or worse, we are becoming. But again and again we avoid the long thoughts….We cling to the present out of wariness of the past. And why not, after all? We get confused. We need such escape as we can find. But there is a deeper need yet, I think, and that is the need—not all the time, surely, but from time to time—to enter that still room within us all where the past lives on as a part of the present, where the dead are alive again, where we are most alive ourselves to turnings and to where our journeys have brought us. The name of the room is Remember—the room where with patience, with charity, with quietness of heart, we remember consciously to remember the lives we have lived.”
Frederick Buechner

Today Mom had a beautiful memorial service. Our hearts were touched by those who remembered her so fondly and with such love. We are tired and at a loss but as I told her in her last few days with us, we will be okay. Not the same, but okay.

Tomorrow we go home and I am sure grief will come and go like unexpected rain showers. We will think back about the time before this day and we will remember.

Godspeed, Mama.