authentic self, Blog, coffee, women

Disturbing the Water — My Notes to Young Women

Day 173

Once, when advising my daughter, she replied ‘…Mom, I wish I could learn from your mistakes, but I have to make my own…’ I always keep that in my mind and try not to advise people on the life-choices they make. I do have some general thoughts for young women. Thoughts I wish someone had shared with me.

My mother died when I was 19. It was hard. I went through all my big life moments without my mother. My wedding, the birth of my children, divorce and all of life’s heartaches, my mother would not be there.

When menopause hit, there was no family history for me to gauge what this would be like. Both my sisters had hysterectomies fairly young and the HRT hid the normal symptoms.

No, I would never advise anyone specifically but my suggestion is to at least consider the notes I am about to share.

  • You do not always need to go with the flow. Sometimes it’s okay to disturb the water.
  • Stay young in mind and thought. Don’t let anyone tame your spirit. Coaching behavior in women starts at a very young age. Sometimes it’s okay to just let your hair fly free and get your feet dirty.
  • Move your body — walk, dance, play volleyball, swim — just move.
  • Take care of your skin.
  • Avoid chemicals as much as possible. In your food, in your clothes, in your home and on your body and your face.
  • Minimize the alcohol. It ages you inside and out.
  • Plant a garden — even if it is small. You can learn a lot about life by caring for plants.
  • Learn to love good food. Take a cooking class if you were not taught to cook at home. Learn about the power — good and bad — of food in your body.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  • Care for your appearance, of course. But remember the inside of your body — the machine — needs constant nurturing. It is, after all, what keeps you alive.
  • Value yourself more than your sexuality.
  • Choose a career or path you are passionate about.
  • Remember it is okay to change your mind.
  • Read.
  • Earn your own money and save some for the future.
  • Travel as much as you can. There is no better way to learn about people than to get outside your own culture.
  • Love yourself.
  • Be honest with yourself.
  • Be authentic.
  • Invest in friends you trust.
  • Be with people who make you laugh more than they make you cry.
  • If someone abuses you, leave NOW.
  • Sing — even if you can’t carry a tune.
  • Respect your partner and insist they respect you.
  • Have a child or don’t have a child. Just do not minimize the choice of other women.
  • Find doctors you trust and see them regularly.
  • Be kind.
  • Most of all, enjoy this life you were given. It’s up to you to make the most of it.
Blog, coffee, friends

It Started with the Coffee

Day 116

Hubby and I are down to two cups of coffee in the morning. Of course, it would be easy if we liked the same kind, but we don’t. He loves a strong French Roast and I am strictly decaf now – my preference is a decaffeinated Kona coffee from Fresh Market.

We have a small hand grinder and we take turns grinding our own beans. It is nice because when we travel it is compact and easy to take along with us. 20 years ago we made a pot of coffee, then we went to a Keurig but put that aside because of the landfill impacts. Now we do pour overs. The smell is alluring. Being retired, we can ease into the morning with all the necessary slow steps and the end result is a divine cup of coffee.

After the beans are ground you must wet the coffee and let it bloom for 30 seconds before continuing to pour the coffee. (I usually rush this step.) On a cold morning like this morning, I like to heat my cup with hot water first. The only problem is that this morning I forgot to pour the water out of the cup and needless to say my first cup of coffee ended up all over the kitchen counter. Not the best way to start the day.

The rest of the day wasn’t bad, but all day long I felt ‘off’. You know, when nothing seems quite right. My car has been in the shop since last Thursday and I was growing tired of not having the ability to go when I want to go. I finally got a call about 12:30 pm saying the car was ready.

We received some sad news from a good friend of ours this afternoon which occupied most of our conversation on the way to pick up the car. It is a helpless feeling when someone is in dire straights and there is nothing you can do to help the situation.

We did get some good news late in the afternoon which helped balance out the mood of the day. It was just one of those days. Not bad. Not good. Just a little ‘off’.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. I plan to make a pot of chili and continue to ‘Kondo’ my closets.