Blog, change, Family

The Best-Laid Plans

Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Day 264

This morning I woke up thinking about what I wanted to do before heading back home. I had made plans to go to the playground with the kids, and then make lasagne to have ready when my son got home this evening.

Then the text: Flight was cancelled. Will now be taking the red-eye home and arrive about 8:30 a.m. Saturday.

It is all fine. My schedule is flexible. I had hoped to spend a little time with my son before driving home, but now, I will probably be packed and ready to leave shortly after he gets home tomorrow morning.

I have learned to roll with the punches.

After breakfast, my granddaughter and I walked to the playground. Not a bad walk and we made it out and back before the temps rose too much. My grandson decided to hang out at home with his mom. It was good to have a little alone time with one child rather than being tugged at for equal attention at every breathing moment. Not a bad problem to have — to be loved so much.

I decided to do all my laundry so I can pack clean clothes to take home, rather than bring dirty clothes home with me. Score one for me.

The kids are napping today — that’s a first for the week. Maybe everyone is just I need of returning to their normal. It is just a sleepy, low-key kind of day.

Tonight, I will still make lasagne as planned. We will probably watch another Chipmunk movie — we have already watched “The Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein” and “The Chipmunks and the Werewolf”. What other cinematic pleasure awaits I cannot say.

All in all, it has been a good week. These times spent with my grandchildren are precious. My daughter-in-law is making progress although it is very slow. The fact that there is still no diagnosis is disappointing. No diagnosis means no treatment plan and that is frustrating.

Oh, and I made a discovery this week. Jelly Belly makes a buttered popcorn flavor of jellybeans. They do taste exactly like buttered popcorn. Who knew?

Blog, change, resistance

Things I Resist

Day 167

I am resistant. There — I said it.

Some resistance is good, some signal avoidance, and frankly, some things do not fit in my personal goals for my life.

I want to examine my resistance and start to flush out my thoughts and ideas.

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Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Am I Resistant to Change?

I am not afraid of change, but of course, it depends on what I am trying to change. Years ago I decided to go on Weight Watchers. I was active in the workforce and went faithfully every Monday during my lunch hour. I lost 25 pounds, reached my goal, and became a lifetime member. Then I dropped it. I was tired of counting points. It was the only attempt at any type of dieting I have ever tried.

Recently, hubby and I made some lifestyle changes in the foods we choose, how much we cook at home, and we added some much-needed exercise back into our lives. Now I have lost weight and feel better without feeling like I am dieting. This has been an easy change.

I welcome other areas of change in my life. I am not afraid to try new things. I was not afraid of retiring or moving to a completely different life in another state, so I don’t think it is change I’m resistant to. I love this new phase of my life and have so many dreams for this time.

Blogging and Writing

I see a lot of my fellow-bloggers take on a lot of challenges for their blogs and their writing. I do one and have resisted all the others. Not because I do not find them interesting or challenging, but because, for me, it stifles my thoughts and the reason I chose to blog in the first place.

I do think I am resisting working in earnest on a story I have brewing. I am recognizing it as the voice of my inner critic, but I cannot shut her up! I know the storyline is powerful and I know I can make it come to life. But still, I resist. I think I resist because I still fear failing. What if no one else appreciates it the way I do?

So, instead of writing, I am allowing classes by other writers whom I respect, to fill my days and my writing time. Resistance!

Digital Entertainment

We canceled our cable TV service about a month ago in favor of a much cheaper streaming service. I still have shows to watch — and I do watch — but I do not spend nearly as much time in front of the TV now.

Facebook. Grrrrrrrrr. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. It is THE predominant way I stay in touch with my family and close friends. But it is so much more than that. It is a time-suck and an invasion of privacy. Today I decided to start culling down my Facebook friends list. I’m not even sure I know all my friends! Isn’t that crazy?

Online news is the way I stay up with what is happening in the world. I gave up newspapers YEARS ago. But the news is so much less about news and so much more about advertising and marketing. I cannot trust one outlet so I have three or four I check every day or two.

So, where there is an alternative, I can easily change my digital habits. Some I do feel tied to, but at some time in the future, I may change more of these as well.

Meditation

I have been intrigued by meditation for a long time. I tried it another lifetime ago, but I had no patience. Now I have ample time to sit with my thoughts and clear my thinking, but I am fighting it every step of the way. Maybe meditating would help clear the cobwebs and let me know why I am resistant.

Could I sit for an hour and be comfortable? Do I have thoughts and burdens I do not wish to address? Do I believe in meditation? I do not have the answers to any of these questions but I know I am resistant to even try it again.

The Answer?

I don’t have one right now. I guess that is the reason for this post. I do think I will examine my thoughts around resistance over the next few weeks and just see what shakes out. I hope it’s my internal critic – she is wretched.

 

Blog, change, friends, Love, thankful, Writing

Finding My Groove

Day 87

IMG_8307Tomorrow is the last day of December. It was a difficult month. Tomorrow is also the last day of the year, bringing 2018 to a close. It wasn’t always an easy year, but I don’t want to say it was a bad year because that casts an unwanted shadow on all the joy that 2018 brought into my life.

As I have stated before, I’m not a New Year’s resolution kind of person. I like to think about the coming year and what my hopes, goals, and dreams are for the future. As I have been thinking of how I can make the new year lighter, I think I’ve found a rather nice groove.

What does that mean exactly? It means I feel an aura of contentment. I feel like I know where I am headed. I know what I want to remove from my life. I feel like I am grounded and moving in a positive direction. It’s nice to be able to say that.

As I told a few of my friends when I recall my memories of people I have lost it always brings the same thought to mind. They loved life! I have the chance every day to live the life they can no longer enjoy. I’m not talking about important jobs, big houses or extravagant purchases. I’m talking about the breathing part of life. The place where joy lives.

Joy lives in little things. Today it was watching two Carolina wrens bathing in a puddle the rain left on the top of our patio table. It was delightful.

For me, joy lives in the full moon that lights up the trees, the blaze of orange that rises out of a sunset, and the magic of new-fallen snow. Joy lives in my writing, my friendships and the love of my family. It is my constant companion if I am willing to create space for it.

I am taking a couple of wonderful writing classes. They are inspiring me beyond belief! I have found a few goals I hope to achieve in the early part of 2019. I am excited and filled with anticipation. I have wonderful friends — old and new — and family that loves me. I have a husband that is a kind and gentle soul. How could I not be joyful?

The coming week will be difficult as we honor the life of our Mom. I will add her to the list of people who loved life and would be living it to the fullest. She would be planning the next meal, the next party, the next event or the next trip even before the current one had come to a close. I will honor her by living and loving life as much as she did.

Today I watched a video of a gentleman’s weight loss journey. The video ended with this question:

If you knew success was a certainty, what would you attempt to do?

I am enjoying this groove I’m in. I will have challenges and hurdles but I will look back on 2018 with the knowledge that it brought me more joy than sadness. What more could I ask for?

“Among the greatest tragedies is a person who believes that they aren’t meant to win–by winning I mean find their purpose, passion and joy in life.
They believe that other people have better DNA or happiness genes or something, but that they themselves are missing a critical chromosome.
This is a lie and it is begging to be un-believed.
For the moment we know the truth about ourselves, we can take both responsibility for our own lives and inspired action to create exactly the life which is our birthright.
In other words, you were meant to win. You were created for joy.” 
Jacob Nordby

Blog, change, passion, reflection

Our Best Selves

Day 75

I wonder how many of us really rise to be our best selves? Today I encountered someone who excelled at her profession. It was obvious she loved her job and felt fulfilled by the profession she chose. When I meet people like this, I cannot help but be swept up by their enthusiasm.

I have had so many different jobs throughout my life. I excelled at most of them and attained the respect of my peers. That does not mean I was passionate about those jobs and really loved what I did.

I did have a few jobs that I loved. When thinking about why I loved them I think I came to the conclusion that when I felt challenged I rose to the occasion. But the jobs that I truly felt fulfilled in were the jobs where I made a difference in someone’s life.

Now I know this may not be the case for everyone, but for me it rings true. The person I met today really touched me in a profound way.

I have also spent some time around another person this week who inspires me to be a better, kinder person. This is another person who feels extreme passion for their work and they impact lives in a positive way each and every day.

I spent so much time in my life working for people whose only goal was to make money. I was paid fairly and I felt challenged and I did a good job. But the bottom line is I did not make one difference in anyone’s life by that work.

I am proudest of the times where I did make a difference. My contribution to mankind may be measured as small, but at least I did make a small difference. And for me, today, that is enough.

Food for thought……

“Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person. ”
R. Buckminster Fuller

Blog, change, Home, Journey, Mountains, nature, reflection, Relaxation

A Day of Reflection

Day 26

After a night of unrest and a mind full of too many thoughts, I felt I needed a day of reflection. I was in search of a reminder of the blessings I have received and a moment to breathe in nature. It was a glorious much needed day with my husband.

Today I will not bore you with a lot of words. Instead I will share with you the glory that is my home and hope that it does as much for you as it did for me.

Before we started our adventure, we went to vote. Please VOTE!!

The Blue Ridge Parkway

We got on the parkway near the Arboretum. It is such a calm and beautiful drive. There wasn’t a lot of color, but it is still beautiful just the same.

We stopped at several outlooks on our way. We met a cute couple from Cleveland and happily took photos of them at Haw Creek Overlook.

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I even did a short video of the drive if you want to travel along with us.

We continued on and the colors got a little more vibrant as we ventured further north. The overlooks were simply gorgeous everywhere we stopped. Next stop was Craven Gap.

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We took a few snapshots on the way a little further north.

We made a few more stops at overlooks until we reached Craggy Gardens. It is supposed to be one of the most beautiful stops on the highway for wild flowers and blooms during the spring and summer. Of course we are too late for that, but we enjoyed seeing the Catawba Rhododendron trunks devoid of most of their leaves. We did not make the 7 mile hike up to Craggy Dome or Craggy Pinnacle, but it is on our list for a future hike.

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All in all it was a fabulous day of renewal. A day that I needed. A day that reminded me that we are small and our problems and worries are small. We just need to embrace one another in the best way we can.

On the way home, we went by the Biltmore and enjoyed a Winky Bar Sundae at The Creamery. We saw a beautiful piece of an almost hidden rainbow on the drive home and ended up seeing the sun setting just above the ridge as we took our last turn toward home. Mother Nature was showing off just a tad bit today. And I am thankful she did.

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.
Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.
The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.” 

John Muir