Accountability or the Lack Thereof

I was talking to a friend a few days ago. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Before I say this, understand I don’t really want it.”

Her: “Ok…?”

Me: “I need an accountability coach but I don’t really want to be accountable.”

Her: ..still listening..

Me: “I don’t really want anyone holding me accountable, though.”

Her: “Maybe you need a dream team – an encourager.”

Me: “Maybe.”

If I was in the workplace and I was my own boss, I’d fire me.  This is me after a year in the pandemic. I set goals for things I want to do, but my follow through is terrible. The only thing I am motivated to do right now is be outside in the midst of spring. Maybe it is because I have spent so much time in these walls, I just want out.

The goals I am setting for myself are simple and still somewhat long range. When can I travel to Florida and see my family? When can my grandchildren spend a week with us? When can we have our family here for dinner? 

Yesterday we spent the day traveling to the local greenhouses buying soil amendments and vegetable starts. Today we will finish replenishing the garden soil and planting. It looks like we may have some cool nighttime temperatures again next week.

Spring is beautiful, but it is a bit different than in years past. Plants seem slower to bloom compared to years past. Azaleas that normally bloom at the same time every year seem to be delayed – some coming to full bloom while others are moving at a snail’s pace. Maybe they are suffering from a lack of motivation, too. After all, the earth has been stressed for so long. Maybe this last year it needed the break just to stretch and relax. I get it.

(This entire post was written using the block editor. I used the classic block for the text portion and the gallery block for the photos. I am dipping my toe into the waters and will post next week on how it’s going for me.)