My Name Is Not Alexander But If It Were

My name is not Alexander, but if it were yesterday would have been my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. (Thank you Judith Voirst for those words.)

Okay, I know we pushed Christmas. We had a beautiful tree and not getting to see any of our family, it brought us joy to have the tree lit up in the early morning and late evening hours. But yesterday morning, it was decided. The tree HAD TO GO!

The back of our house is all windows – floor to ceiling. During the winter the sun floods the room and warms it up nicely. It is our morning ritual to open the shades and enjoy the sun while we drink our coffee. Yesterday, however, I discovered a swarm of bugs, mostly dead or dying. I am not a bug person by nature, but I don’t freak out about them (except of course the huge mountain spiders that roam the dark of night looking for their prey).

I followed a trail of these bugs to the Christmas tree. Deep inside the tree were webs and what looked like tiny little bugs suspended there. This was when I freaked out. As I took the ornaments off the tree, they were placed on an old bath towel. Once bare, it was time to take the tree out. This is a 12 ft tree that must be manhandled in order to get it outside. This meant the tree would need to be tipped and the idea of wrestling with this tree that was the home to some unknown creatures was the last thing I wanted to do. It only took about five minutes and the tree was finally outside.

Hubby brought the ShopVac in and I proceeded to vacuum up bugs and pine needles. Then we discovered little puddles of sap on our hardwood floor. Lovely. Hubby got a plastic scraper and got up what he could, then the floor cleaner did the rest. Afterward, I sat down with an antibacterial wipe and cleaned every ornament. The tree coming down led the way to all the other inside decorations coming down, boxed up and back in storage. This took us the majority of the day and I was exhausted. My shower was extra long and extra hot as was the water temperature in the washing machine when I washed our clothes. Yuck, yuck, yuck!

I am still not sure what these creatures were. Hubby said spiders, but they appeared to have wings – it was hard to tell. I thought maybe mosquitos but that does not make sense of the webs in the inner sanctum of the tree, but let’s go with mosquitos. The idea of spiders or even worse, winged spiders, would not let me sleep at night.

As horrible as it was, it was a distraction from the reality spinning around outside. Not that I ever want to repeat it. In all my life of having a real Christmas tree, this has never happened. Let’s chalk it up to 2020 bleeding over into 2021.

In other news, I updated my Gravatar photo. My hair is no longer nicely coiffed, colored and curled. It has not been cut for over a year and any of my purple streaks that once existed have long faded away. This is the real me now – my hair, not quite as long as it once was way back in the day and no longer with any color of its own.

The sun is up and it is time to open the shades and enjoy the sunshine. This is how yesterday started. Let’s hope I am not in some horrible version of my own personal version of the movie “Groundhog Day”.


28 thoughts on “My Name Is Not Alexander But If It Were”

  1. Eeeew, I fully understand wanting that tree to be gone. I’ve only seen the tiny image of your new/present look, but I think it’s a good one. I hope you have an easier day, Maggie.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Spider babies in the tree, or bugs, is another good reason why we have a fake tree. 🙂
    I like your new photo, as I mentioned on my own blog.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I must admit it is a little off-putting. Whether the ‘creature’ got i. The tree before it came in the house or after, it is still a good reason to think twice about a real tree. As far as the photo, I thought it was time for an update since I look remarkably different now.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not normally afraid of spiders (unless they are the size of a golf ball), but the thought of flying spiders in the house would creep me out to no end. I’m glad you got the tree and its living beings outside and everything cleaned up before it could have turned into something worse.

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  4. I’m so sorry to hear that your lovely tree experience ended badly. We did have an experience with little webby, sap-dripping critters in our tree back years ago when there were still Douglas firs available. In consulting with my daughter who has studied conservation biology, the critters are probably either adelgids or aphids Not sure if that makes them seem less creepy than spiders or not!

    Yay for the new gravatar photo! Natural is cool!

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  5. Oh, my! Another friend of mine had insects pop out from her fresh tree prior to the holidays. Ugh.

    Your experience sounds equally challenging. I’m not afraid of having insects in the house, but an invasion of escaping ones — yuck.

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  6. Ugh, ugh, ugh!!!! Even reading about the webby, buggy mess of the tree makes my skin crawl!!! It’s like finding mold on your expensive crumpets in your fridge or slimey roast beef slices….ugh, ugh, ugh!!!! Say, could this become a song? lol!

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  7. This is the first year we didn’t have a tree. We always go with the kids to cut one down and since we couldn’t be together we just passed. I hope that next year we have one. I have so far avoided any disaster parallel to yours. Thank heavens.

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    1. It was a first for us. Every year I try to talk my husband into a smaller tree, but we are suckers for the big ones. I could have done without the creatures though.

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  8. The way you wrote this reminded me of a scary movie. But glad it’s all clear now and the bugs are outside where they belong. I like the new gravatar photo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The tree was a bit of a nightmare, JoAnna. I thought I needed to update my Gravatar. The hair – well it is long and straight and annoying, but the least of my worries.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My hair has gotten really long, too. Sometimes I feel like I’m being rebellious (in a fun way) as a mature woman with long hair. 🙂 I could use a trim though.

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