#FibbingFriday – My First Attempt

This week, Fibbing Friday is hosted by Pensitivity101. This is my first attempt to play along and see if I can engage my creative brain. Thank you for the chance to join in and for hostIng this challenge. Now let’s get started.

1. Why do onions make you cry? Onions are bitter little pills. They have been underground in isolation and completely in the dark, only to be jerked out and served up at our pleasure. They end up vindictive and generate their toxic juices in attempt to save their very lives.

2. Why do vampires not like garlic? Vampires are only out at night — prime dating hours. In the past, they loved a good Italian meal loaded with garlic, but history has shown it prevents the surprise factor when choosing their next blood supplier. Too many young innocent women were alerted to the vampire’s arrival making it difficult for them to survive.

3. Why are individual cakes called Fairy Cakes? Fairies, being small in stature and living in rather cramped quarters, had the only known supply of small baking pans. When bakers were challenged to create small cakes for fancy finger foods, the fairies stepped up and shared their bakeware. These pastries were forever known as Fairy Cakes as a homage to the generosity of the Fairy Community. 

4. How does yeast work? Yeast is a little microscopic army that only lives for a short time. Therefore, it is dried into submission and only marches when rehydrated with warm water. Adding flour to it contains its spread and the yeast’s struggle to escape magically allows bread to rise.

5. What’s the difference between vegetable and chicken stock cubes? The color. One is the color of chickens and one is the color of dirt.

6. How many ways can you cook an egg? Standing, sitting, standing on one leg, in the kitchen, on a camp stove, on an engine block and on a very hot day, on a rock.

7. Can potatoes see through their eyes? Sadly, no. Just like we have “whites” in our eyes that do not provide vision, so it is with potatoes.

8. Why are carrots supposedly good for you? They are not. This misinformation is a marketing ploy used to push beta carotene.

9. What are dumplings? An angry wife once made beautiful biscuits to surprise her husband. She kept them ready to pop into the oven and when he came home hours late, in a fit of anger, she dumped them into the chicken stew. These little edible treats were then known as “dumplings”.

10. What are pulses? They are the hiccups of the universe.