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An Aging Mom’s Thoughts on Mother’s Day

Maggie

Day 221

I was 19 when my mother passed away. I was in the Air Force and while I came home for the funeral, I was soon back on my own far away from family. It was a very hard time.

Back then, long distance calls were an expensive proposition. I remember that first Mother’s Day without my mom. I decided to go to the mall. In the middle of the mall, there were tons of radio operators (ham radio perhaps?) that had some way to offer free calls to the public for Mother’s Day.

I put my head down anxious to pass them when a woman stepped toward me and offered to let me make a call my mom. I just responded with a quiet “No thank you” to which she responded, “Don’t you love your mother?” It was cruel and hurtful. I bit my tongue and just walked away. It was a hard Mother’s Day and one I will never forget.

My mom was a tough helluva good woman. I miss her tremendously. She was not around for the birth of my own children, nor was she to ever meet any of her grandchildren. As sad as that may seem, her legacy lives on. Memories of her and her influence in our lives lasts forever.

Today is my husband’s first Mother’s Day without his mom. It will be hard I know. It will be especially difficult because Tuesday will be her burial. It is a lot to throw together in a small span of days. The family will come here after the short service, so I am at least happy he will have his family around him.

img_9854I received a wonderful surprise gift Friday from my daughters and granddaughter. Three dozen roses and a beautiful sun catcher with a hummingbird on it. They are gorgeous. I appreciate their thoughtfulness so much. I always want them to know that loving me and remembering me is always enough. The gifts I receive every day that I get to be a part of their lives is more than enough.

This is also my birthday weekend and I am still a bit under the weather, so it is destined to be a day of relaxation. We are not big bash celebrants so no big festivities planned today. I am getting calls and texts from family and friends which are always delightful and make my day!

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Image from Unsplash.com

Last night one of our daughters and her family dropped by for a surprise visit. Hubby fixed dinner and we had a nice time catching up. They brought me cards for my birthday and Mother’s Day. Then I received a text from one of our other daughters. She and her sister went together to buy me a gift certificate for a sensory deprivation float. How thoughtful! I am a little nervous but anxious to try it. I have been talking about it for weeks and it is so sweet they remembered.

This morning I received a video from my 21-month-old granddaughter singing happy birthday followed by a quick video chat. Such a sweet way to start my morning.

My husband and I will spend the day together just being. That is always a welcome way to spend a rainy day.

On being a mom:

Moms put in the work – sometimes the best mom is a dad.
Gifts are lovely, but a call or a visit is just as lovely.
Being a mom is a forever job.
Being a mom is hard, but also so rewarding.
Moms are not always perfect.
Children are not always perfect.
Sometimes families are healthy together.
Sometimes families are healthier apart.
Grandmothers are moms without the responsibility
AND I LOVE THAT!

For the many women who have lost children, Mother’s Day can be an extremely hard day. I send you my love and thoughts for this difficult day.

Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. I was fortunate to have a lot of strong mother figures in my life. When my mother passed away, my grandmothers, my sisters, my step-mom, my mother-in-law, and sometimes my good friends stepped in to fill that role. My Dad even filled that role many, many times. I could not have made it without their love, strength, and guidance. I will forever be indebted to them all.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

 

23 thoughts on “An Aging Mom’s Thoughts on Mother’s Day”

  2. Such a sweet and heartfelt post. I am glad wonderful women stepped up to guide you when you lost your mom. I know you are a wonderful woman who always steps up when others need you. Your children, grandchildren, and spouse are lucky to be recipients of your mother’s legacy. I hope you have a relaxing Mother’s day and Birthday my friend. I hope your week, while emotional, will be filled with the love you have shared.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Lauren. I was fortunate to have the love of so many wonderful women, but as you know, moms have a special place in our hearts. I consider you one of the friends who have been there in a very special and meaningful way.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Birthday. My deepest heartfelt sorrow is extended for your husband and family in the loss of his mother. It sounds like you do have a wonderful family. I was two weeks from giving birth to my first of four sons when my mother passed away. I still can’t believe she was not here to meet any of them. They have had a wonderful step grandmother but it was difficult not having my own Mom to go to when I had concerns about raising my boys. We get through it and I am proud to say they are all doing great. I hope your weekend is peaceful. I look forward to an update on that sensory deprivation float. I have always been intrigued by it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is bittersweet to lose our mothers before we become mothers ourselves. It is never the same, of course, but having support from those around us makes all the difference. Sounds like you did a good job raising your boys. I wish you a wonderful Mother’s Day as well and I will definitely post about my float experience. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me.

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  4. A lovely post. I’m so glad that you had support from other strong women along the way after your mother’s death.

    I was rather glad to be in a country not celebrating Mother’s Day today, although my own mother, gone for a long time now, would be glad for me to be traveling here.

    The chirpy “Happy Mother’s Day” greetings from cashiers always have taken me aback — yes, I’m the age I could be both mother and grandmother, but I’m neither. Hmm.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lisa, I was fortunate to have the love and support.

      I understand your feelings about the freedom of being out of the country. As women, we are often judged by what others perceive of us or assumptions made about us.

      I am living vicariously through your adventures in Ireland. What a wonderful opportunity.

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  9. My heart is with you and David. I’m so glad family will be with you both after the burial on Tuesday.
    Soon you will have Mimi there to lift you both with joy!! Love you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. We will be okay and find some closure.

      We are definitely looking forward to having the girls here or sure,

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  11. That’s so nice, and very true your mom’s legacy is seemingly unending, that’s how I feel about the family influences as well. Sweet.
    When my kids were all younger, I felt like Mother’s Day was a big deal to me. My husband would take the kids out for breakfast and do an activity with them, letting me sleep and rest. It was always a good day to be pampered and indulged with free time and quiet! The last 10 years or so, I feel like it’s not a big deal to me at all, just another day. BUT, for my own mother, I feel every year I get another Mother’s Day to celebrate HER is a bigger deal.
    I wish you a happy trip around the sun 🙂
    and that you feel better soon 🙂
    I also hope that your husband’s family and all the added love and care comforts him during this difficult time.

    Liked by 1 person

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