Dusting Off and Starting Over

Day 197

I did not meditate this morning. I had a rough night and did not sleep well, so I slept in rather than getting up to meditate. It was a struggle for me to give this time up, but I knew I needed to sleep. But still, I struggled.

This week I started getting up an hour earlier to meditate, then go for my daily walk before coffee and breakfast. It really is helping me. Someone asked me what happens when I meditate. That’s a tricky question to answer because sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes it is just the most blissful and refreshing part of the day. Sometimes I feel as if I am not even present. Sometimes my brain wants to show me something that makes absolutely no sense. I have learned to just see it, acknowledge it, and then let it pass.

Meditation gives me the ability to start my day with a clear and open mind. I have noticed the absence of stress-related aches and pains. I do not spend the day worrying about things.

So, today was different. My sister would say I was discombobulated. I was off. I was really surprised at the difference between this day and the days I start with meditation. And I love that.

I do not feel the need to forgive myself, because I did nothing wrong. The old me loved to find any reason at all to beat myself up. Today I slept instead of meditating. I missed it. The only thing to do is just dust myself off and pick it up again tomorrow.

I did spend some time outside which is a meditation for me. The forecast is for more damaging winds and storms tomorrow, so getting outside today was good for me. It grounds me and connects me to the earth in a way that nothing else does. I never tire of breathing in the air and just being present in nature. This is home.