I Know Who I Am

Day 190


I am firm in my convictions. I know what I believe and I do not waiver. I am open to listening to other people’s ideas and thoughts and am willing to consider other ways of thinking, but my basic instincts have never changed. The way I feel about people and how we should treat one another has not changed since I was a little girl — and that was a very long time ago.

Several times of late, friends have come to me asking me how I can be so understanding or so accepting. They want me to explain how I can feel the way I do. How did I reach my conclusions? Did I ever consider I could be wrong in my thinking? What did I do when I found out so and so was this or that. It is perplexing to me.

I mean, I feel like I feel. When I see someone hurt, I feel empathy. I see us all as people — deserving of equal treatment and consideration. I may disagree and I may share my ideas if asked, but I don’t think I would ever consciously try to convince someone to think the way that I do.

My mother always told me that if I was doing something wrong or treating someone poorly, I would feel it in my gut. That’s always been my guide. After all, we do know when we make mistakes even though we sometimes willingly push those thoughts aside.

It is confusing to me — the idea of accepting someone or something that just simply is. How is it possible not to accept what is? Maybe it’s the idea of acceptance that is confusing.

How can I tell someone how I am me?

At my core, I have a set of morals — I don’t know if I was born with them or if I learned them, but it is who I am. I think we all must have a particular moral code or set of values or ideals — I just know I cannot be anyone else’s moral compass. That’s a lot of pressure. I cannot tell you how to be you. I can’t even tell you how I am me. That’s a journey we all must take for ourselves, I think.

I believe people can change if they choose to do so. I have changed many times in my life. I’ve been in difficult circumstances and I have made mistakes. But those are circumstances. I can honestly say that the core of what I believe and how I see people has never changed. I have never understood hate — especially fear-based hate.

I am open to listening and sharing my experiences, but in the end, I can only be me.  I am in no position to tell anyone else how to build a belief system or how to love or how to accept. It’s ingrained in me and I don’t know how or why.

I’m human and I get angry and frustrated and disappointed with people — we all do. But it doesn’t result in me changing my basic philosophies of life.

This is a rambling post and maybe tonight it is just for my own benefit as I try to unravel and understand the complexities of how we come to believe what we believe.







12 thoughts on “I Know Who I Am”

  1. I hear you. I can only be me and i usually expect no one to agree with me. That is just my script. I think as I grow older I try to not let most people know my thoughts on many issues as I don’t want the conflict and I have no intention of changing my mind.

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    1. I think knowing who we are is so important. As I said, I am okay with listening and hearing and maybe even changing a point of view. But to change the core of who I am? I cannot imagine that ever happening.

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  2. Very thought provoking topic. You know I’ve told you before that I learn from you all the time. I very much admire your philosophies. I try very hard to tone down me, but in the end I think our upbringing and experiences mold us and, for the most part, we are ” set” in our ways and ideas. But I am always ” listening” to you and ” trying!”. Lol.

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    1. Personality is different. Telling someone to tone themselves down is a strange request, don’t you think? I know, for me, the way I felt inside, my sense of right and wrong, was a departure from many of the views of my parents and my grandparents. I think there must be something in our DNA or something happens that allows our thoughts to evolve. I hope that people who seem consumed with hate and rage are not doomed to that for their entire life. That is quite a burden to carry.


  3. Staying true to who we are might be one of the hardest things to do today. While you start with “I can’t tell you how to be you,” lots of people are willing to try to do just that. Some seem to make it a condition of friendship. I’m with you – this was a great post.

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    1. Thank you, Dan. I did not feel I was articulating what I wanted to say very well. I am glad you were able to read through my rambling thoughts. Friendships, like marriage, should not be entered into thinking you can change that person. In my experience, that is a recipe for disappointment.

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  4. It’s a grand ramble, though, because it’s likely to resonate with others as much as it did with me. You seem to live consciously and authentically, and if that can be taught, I bet it’s hard to teach. I don’t think most people take time to think about what they should think about it, which is of course to say, what I think they should be thinking, cause if they did, I wouldn’t be thinking, “What were you even thinking?” so often. As I, too, live consciously, I don’t ask that aloud and aim for compassion, even if I have to dig.
    I LIKE to hear/read/ponder other viewpoints. I find people fascinating. So many different brains and experiences. Endless stories.

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    1. Joey, I have always thought of myself as a bit of an over thinker. I, too, like to hear/read/ponder what other people have churning in their minds. Our minds are miraculous!

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    1. Thank you for your thoughts, Anne. I try to have integrity — probably don’t always succeed. But I have learned to forgive myself and others. Life is a delicate balance.


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