Day 174
I had a revelation today.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been watching videos from Kyle Cease’s series entitled “Love Rising”. Today I finished the 4th of 8 videos which is equivalent to one day at one of his events.
I am not an over-eater at the Self Help buffet, but I do partake from time to time. I learned about Kyle Cease from a friend who has attended his events and as a result has continued to work with him over the last year or so. Her growth has been amazing and I was always happy for her, but never considered taking part myself.
A few weeks ago, a dear friend gifted me access to Kyle’s “Love Rising” videos. I am here to honestly say this gift has impacted me in a way I never thought possible.
Today was a breakthrough for me. I was living my old story and its name was loss.
As a result, today I am starting the process of shedding my old story. I am no longer living a life of loss. Yes, I have had a great deal of many types of loss in my life, but I was letting it define me. I was living in this space of loss and never fully present in the now. How could I possibly achieve my goals and dreams of tomorrow if I could not free myself from the losses of my past?
I actually had a lot of happiness and joy in my life but it was always punctuated with loss. I have carried all those losses with me for my entire life. The feelings are complex, so I will just share my takeaways.
- Releasing does not mean forgetting.
- Love is always here.
- I am more than the losses I have experienced.
- I do not want to grieve because that means I am acknowledging the loss is permanent.
- If I let go and say goodbye, I am afraid I will be alone, even though I am surrounded by people who love me.
- It is okay to live my life and be happy.
- Will I feel guilty if I pursue my dreams?
- Is the fear of failing greater than the joy of succeeding?
I wanted to share this as a way to keep myself accountable. Life is full of hurdles and for me, they have been much easier to cross than what it has taken for others. How can I possibly live small when everything in me wants to live large?
It takes faith and trust and vulnerability. And good music.
“I was living my old story and its name was loss.”. What a profound truth, Maggie.
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Thank you, Marge. I thought my old story was something else entirely.
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What a lovely post about shedding old stories and trying to embrace a new one, Maggie.
I share many of those thoughts — we definitely need to create new stories about what’s next. That’s what Maitri helped me with, I think; I’ve been profoundly grateful for that, even as I struggle about what’s next now!
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Lisa, I was having such a difficult time moving forward especially after losing my sister. Understanding that I could move forward and bring the vibrancy of her life with me was truly eye-opening. I wish you well on the next steps of your journey. For me, it was letting go and reaffirming what I want in my life.
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Mmm very thought provoking….
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Living in our truth takes some work. I am not sure this would have revealed itself to me had I not immersed myself in Love Rising.
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after the week that I have I am going right back to part 1 of love rising and starting again… I need time out from my own thinking xxx. get back to about this on our next meetup xx
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“ It takes faith and trust and vulnerability. And good music.“ I might add it takes compassion and connection with other brave co-creative souls. So excited for your leap!
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I love your perspective, Kim, and yes, I agree. Compassion for ourselves and others and being part of something bigger. I am excited, too. And I am grateful for your part in my journey.
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I am glad you are enjoying the change in perspective.
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The shift has been unbelievable. I would not be here had it not been for you, my friend.
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Actually the universe had the plan all along. I just happened to be a part of the plan this time. Love you.
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Listen to you! You are right and I am so thankful for the part you played. Love you, too!
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“How could I possibly achieve my goals and dreams of tomorrow if I could not free myself from the losses of my past?” Great question! Easier said than done. You seem like you are heading in the right direction.
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Thank you Cindy. There are a lot of tears in transforming. Not easy for sure. Just listening to that song without breaking down will be a big achievement for me.
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Very good. Whatever gets you there, I say. It took years in therapy for me to proudly proclaim I am here to enjoy my life!
(This is hard to do in grief, feels wrong, but is still right.)
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Yes, grief can be hard to navigate — especially when it is so frequent.
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😦
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Excellent take away points offering food for thought. Fear of loss tugs at my sleeve sometimes. I will endeavor to give it some love as I move forward with the love that is always here. Great song!
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JoAnna, loss is, unfortunately, part of life. I find it is the ability to carry the love forward while living in the moment is what I have been missing. No one that I lost would want that for my life. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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