Disturbing the Water — My Notes to Young Women

Day 173

Once, when advising my daughter, she replied ‘…Mom, I wish I could learn from your mistakes, but I have to make my own…’ I always keep that in my mind and try not to advise people on the life-choices they make. I do have some general thoughts for young women. Thoughts I wish someone had shared with me.

My mother died when I was 19. It was hard. I went through all my big life moments without my mother. My wedding, the birth of my children, divorce and all of life’s heartaches, my mother would not be there.

When menopause hit, there was no family history for me to gauge what this would be like. Both my sisters had hysterectomies fairly young and the HRT hid the normal symptoms.

No, I would never advise anyone specifically but my suggestion is to at least consider the notes I am about to share.

  • You do not always need to go with the flow. Sometimes it’s okay to disturb the water.
  • Stay young in mind and thought. Don’t let anyone tame your spirit. Coaching behavior in women starts at a very young age. Sometimes it’s okay to just let your hair fly free and get your feet dirty.
  • Move your body — walk, dance, play volleyball, swim — just move.
  • Take care of your skin.
  • Avoid chemicals as much as possible. In your food, in your clothes, in your home and on your body and your face.
  • Minimize the alcohol. It ages you inside and out.
  • Plant a garden — even if it is small. You can learn a lot about life by caring for plants.
  • Learn to love good food. Take a cooking class if you were not taught to cook at home. Learn about the power — good and bad — of food in your body.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  • Care for your appearance, of course. But remember the inside of your body — the machine — needs constant nurturing. It is, after all, what keeps you alive.
  • Value yourself more than your sexuality.
  • Choose a career or path you are passionate about.
  • Remember it is okay to change your mind.
  • Read.
  • Earn your own money and save some for the future.
  • Travel as much as you can. There is no better way to learn about people than to get outside your own culture.
  • Love yourself.
  • Be honest with yourself.
  • Be authentic.
  • Invest in friends you trust.
  • Be with people who make you laugh more than they make you cry.
  • If someone abuses you, leave NOW.
  • Sing — even if you can’t carry a tune.
  • Respect your partner and insist they respect you.
  • Have a child or don’t have a child. Just do not minimize the choice of other women.
  • Find doctors you trust and see them regularly.
  • Be kind.
  • Most of all, enjoy this life you were given. It’s up to you to make the most of it.

13 thoughts on “Disturbing the Water — My Notes to Young Women”

  1. I think the note on valuing self more than sexuality is so key. Expression of self is promoted more than caring for oneself. It’s always in comparison to-
    Wonderful post!


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you, Neru. We are bombarded with messages about sexuality. That’s why our young people need positive role models. The messages get so confusing. I appreciate you reading and commenting. I found myself saying ‘I wish I had known this years ago’…so it was time to write it.


  3. What an excellent post! And all of your suggestions are right on point. I love all of them.

    One of the most important thoughts that I’ve had over the years (and when I think about my friends) has been to take care of yourself first and learn about saving and money. My mom, as a divorced woman at 40. saved the heck out of everything she earned after that. It made all the difference for her in her last decade of total disability.

    And definitely follow a career path that you’re passionate about! That’s the ticket for enjoying your work life, that’s for sure.

    I just have a niece whom I barely know that I’d provide advice to – but your list is golden.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Lisa. I remember when my daughter went to college, she received two or three pre-approved applications for credit cards. The worst thing you can give an 18 year old away from home and on her own for the first time. Especially when her roommate stole the card. We do not teach money management to either our sons or our daughters which starts them at a severe disadvantage. Living within our passion is the best gift we can give ourselves.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You are surely the wisest woman I know. All of your points are so valid. Let’s travel the country together. You can lecture thousands of young women with your wisdom and I’ll serve snacks!!! Lol……😍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am far from the wisest woman you know. We do have an obligation, I think, to share our knowledge and wisdom with others sans the snacks.


    1. Lisa, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Your recent travel was so much fun to read about. The love between sisters is very special.

      Liked by 1 person

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