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Disturbing the Water — My Notes to Young Women

Day 173

Once, when advising my daughter, she replied ‘…Mom, I wish I could learn from your mistakes, but I have to make my own…’ I always keep that in my mind and try not to advise people on the life-choices they make. I do have some general thoughts for young women. Thoughts I wish someone had shared with me.

My mother died when I was 19. It was hard. I went through all my big life moments without my mother. My wedding, the birth of my children, divorce and all of life’s heartaches, my mother would not be there.

When menopause hit, there was no family history for me to gauge what this would be like. Both my sisters had hysterectomies fairly young and the HRT hid the normal symptoms.

No, I would never advise anyone specifically but my suggestion is to at least consider the notes I am about to share.

  • You do not always need to go with the flow. Sometimes it’s okay to disturb the water.
  • Stay young in mind and thought. Don’t let anyone tame your spirit. Coaching behavior in women starts at a very young age. Sometimes it’s okay to just let your hair fly free and get your feet dirty.
  • Move your body — walk, dance, play volleyball, swim — just move.
  • Take care of your skin.
  • Avoid chemicals as much as possible. In your food, in your clothes, in your home and on your body and your face.
  • Minimize the alcohol. It ages you inside and out.
  • Plant a garden — even if it is small. You can learn a lot about life by caring for plants.
  • Learn to love good food. Take a cooking class if you were not taught to cook at home. Learn about the power — good and bad — of food in your body.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  • Care for your appearance, of course. But remember the inside of your body — the machine — needs constant nurturing. It is, after all, what keeps you alive.
  • Value yourself more than your sexuality.
  • Choose a career or path you are passionate about.
  • Remember it is okay to change your mind.
  • Read.
  • Earn your own money and save some for the future.
  • Travel as much as you can. There is no better way to learn about people than to get outside your own culture.
  • Love yourself.
  • Be honest with yourself.
  • Be authentic.
  • Invest in friends you trust.
  • Be with people who make you laugh more than they make you cry.
  • If someone abuses you, leave NOW.
  • Sing — even if you can’t carry a tune.
  • Respect your partner and insist they respect you.
  • Have a child or don’t have a child. Just do not minimize the choice of other women.
  • Find doctors you trust and see them regularly.
  • Be kind.
  • Most of all, enjoy this life you were given. It’s up to you to make the most of it.
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Widower Day 336… Starting with Widower Day 30.

Please take a moment to visit fellow blogger Darren’s blog. Today he starts the final 30 day journey of his first full year without his beloved Kateri. If you have experienced loss, you will be moved by his journey. Darren, I Know this has been a difficult year and I know how much your words have moved me. I know others will find healing here, too.

Thirty Days of Mo(u)rning

img_2349I thought I was gonna write something a little more in depth of what I’m about to do for the next thirty days, but it’s 11:41pm and I got home a little later than anticipated… and I’m… well… kinda tired.  A friend and I went up to BTown for a get together of absolutely wonderful people who wanted to show a friend of ours that we love him… that we support him… that we are there for him as he does his dance with cancer.  This is a man who I met when I first came to Vermont… who I have cooked with and for… and who Kateri considered one of the early “Pocket People”… which should tell you something about this guy.

I wanted to explain in detail what is going through my head and my plans for this bloggery in the immediate future, but being in the same…

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