Blog, change, resistance

Things I Resist

Day 167

I am resistant. There — I said it.

Some resistance is good, some signal avoidance, and frankly, some things do not fit in my personal goals for my life.

I want to examine my resistance and start to flush out my thoughts and ideas.

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Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Am I Resistant to Change?

I am not afraid of change, but of course, it depends on what I am trying to change. Years ago I decided to go on Weight Watchers. I was active in the workforce and went faithfully every Monday during my lunch hour. I lost 25 pounds, reached my goal, and became a lifetime member. Then I dropped it. I was tired of counting points. It was the only attempt at any type of dieting I have ever tried.

Recently, hubby and I made some lifestyle changes in the foods we choose, how much we cook at home, and we added some much-needed exercise back into our lives. Now I have lost weight and feel better without feeling like I am dieting. This has been an easy change.

I welcome other areas of change in my life. I am not afraid to try new things. I was not afraid of retiring or moving to a completely different life in another state, so I don’t think it is change I’m resistant to. I love this new phase of my life and have so many dreams for this time.

Blogging and Writing

I see a lot of my fellow-bloggers take on a lot of challenges for their blogs and their writing. I do one and have resisted all the others. Not because I do not find them interesting or challenging, but because, for me, it stifles my thoughts and the reason I chose to blog in the first place.

I do think I am resisting working in earnest on a story I have brewing. I am recognizing it as the voice of my inner critic, but I cannot shut her up! I know the storyline is powerful and I know I can make it come to life. But still, I resist. I think I resist because I still fear failing. What if no one else appreciates it the way I do?

So, instead of writing, I am allowing classes by other writers whom I respect, to fill my days and my writing time. Resistance!

Digital Entertainment

We canceled our cable TV service about a month ago in favor of a much cheaper streaming service. I still have shows to watch — and I do watch — but I do not spend nearly as much time in front of the TV now.

Facebook. Grrrrrrrrr. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. It is THE predominant way I stay in touch with my family and close friends. But it is so much more than that. It is a time-suck and an invasion of privacy. Today I decided to start culling down my Facebook friends list. I’m not even sure I know all my friends! Isn’t that crazy?

Online news is the way I stay up with what is happening in the world. I gave up newspapers YEARS ago. But the news is so much less about news and so much more about advertising and marketing. I cannot trust one outlet so I have three or four I check every day or two.

So, where there is an alternative, I can easily change my digital habits. Some I do feel tied to, but at some time in the future, I may change more of these as well.

Meditation

I have been intrigued by meditation for a long time. I tried it another lifetime ago, but I had no patience. Now I have ample time to sit with my thoughts and clear my thinking, but I am fighting it every step of the way. Maybe meditating would help clear the cobwebs and let me know why I am resistant.

Could I sit for an hour and be comfortable? Do I have thoughts and burdens I do not wish to address? Do I believe in meditation? I do not have the answers to any of these questions but I know I am resistant to even try it again.

The Answer?

I don’t have one right now. I guess that is the reason for this post. I do think I will examine my thoughts around resistance over the next few weeks and just see what shakes out. I hope it’s my internal critic – she is wretched.

 

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4 thoughts on “Things I Resist”

  1. I hope you try meditation. I think it is cathartic. I could never get rid of cable. I need the noise as a filter in my life. I admire your new exercise routine. I tried WW and it drove me crazy. I am working on better eating and no junk food. It has been a challenge and I won’t know until next week if I have had any success. Good job on seeing resistance as a part of who you are. I think we are all resistant to some things.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess there is no need to deny it as long as we do not let it always win. I am really considering trying meditation again. Hope your reduction of junk food does well for you.

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  2. My internal critic used to be absolutely berating. Ugh. I had to gag that bitch. She rarely gets a word in now.
    I don’t resist change when I call the shots. In muddy transitions, when I don’t know when X change will end, I suffer. (Which is why I need more practice, obvs.)
    When you start meditation, don’t aim for an hour. Try videos or audios or some books or poses, indoors, outdoors — see what feels good to you and start short.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Could resistance just be our own fear rising to the surface? Maybe. It just seems like that is often the case for me. Thank you for the meditation advice. I hope my resistance fades and I can actually settle into trying.

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