Blog, Death, memories, mother

Tactile Memories

Day 148

We are out of town staying in my mother-in-law’s home. She passed away in December and we came down so hubby and his sister could address some of her affairs.

The first thing I noticed when we came in was the house still smells like mom. A wave of mixed emotions washed over me remembering how much she loved this place and how quickly cancer had taken her life.

The ladies from the church left us a gift of a prayer blanket. It was such a sweet and appreciated gesture. These ladies were her dear friends and confidants for the last 15 years and I know they saw her through some difficult times. It was so telling that they thought of us and how this loss would affect us.

The house remains decorated with her things. Her dishes, her artwork, and her furniture all evoke memories of her. We have been here two days now and of course she has been uppermost in our thoughts and our conversation. Our talks are filled with memories and wishes that she could have been with us just a little longer.

That’s how it is with those we love, isn’t it? There is never really enough time. Today I sat and read through her text messages remembering the daily struggles she had the last few months of her life. But always buried in the midst of messages from the hard days were messages full of life and determination.

Tonight as we went out to get dinner, the sun was setting behind her house. She would have enjoyed the colors of the sunset. Being here brings back a lot of difficult memories, but also brings back the wonderful memories. They far outweigh the painful memories.

Rest well, Mama. We miss you.

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8 thoughts on “Tactile Memories”

  1. I think I made a comment on a previous post about having lost my mom 17 years ago in March. It’s sad to sort through the personal things, but sweet to remember how special they were.

    Embrace those memories as you can – I found it so hard to shed things my Mom had saved from my life, that somehow had ended up in my cabinets after she had gone.

    Sending all good wishes and good thoughts.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I remember what you wrote about your mom, Lisa. It certainly is hard to let go of the things that are connected to loving memories. Be easy on yourself. Grief anniversaries can be so hard.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have been thinking about you SO much and have tried to find time to call. Didn’t know you were there and going through this. I know how hard this is for you both. Big hugs and love and understanding from both of us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the call this morning. It was so good to catch up with you. It was harder being in her space and knowing she wasn’t there. We are just trying to hang onto the good memories.

      Like

  3. That was just beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss, and yet so glad y’all could go back and enjoy her space.
    I received my father’s china Friday. My middle daughter immediately fell in love with it, and I love knowing she’ll use it. Additionally, some photos and the giant wooden spoon and fork. Although my father passed two summers ago, these things were $ too big and heavy $ to ship and had to be driven to me from the west coast. I have felt like he was with us, in our space, all weekend. I am grateful.
    I feel that same gratitude in the post you wrote here.

    Liked by 1 person

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