Blog, Death, memories, mother

Tactile Memories

Day 148

We are out of town staying in my mother-in-law’s home. She passed away in December and we came down so hubby and his sister could address some of her affairs.

The first thing I noticed when we came in was the house still smells like mom. A wave of mixed emotions washed over me remembering how much she loved this place and how quickly cancer had taken her life.

The ladies from the church left us a gift of a prayer blanket. It was such a sweet and appreciated gesture. These ladies were her dear friends and confidants for the last 15 years and I know they saw her through some difficult times. It was so telling that they thought of us and how this loss would affect us.

The house remains decorated with her things. Her dishes, her artwork, and her furniture all evoke memories of her. We have been here two days now and of course she has been uppermost in our thoughts and our conversation. Our talks are filled with memories and wishes that she could have been with us just a little longer.

That’s how it is with those we love, isn’t it? There is never really enough time. Today I sat and read through her text messages remembering the daily struggles she had the last few months of her life. But always buried in the midst of messages from the hard days were messages full of life and determination.

Tonight as we went out to get dinner, the sun was setting behind her house. She would have enjoyed the colors of the sunset. Being here brings back a lot of difficult memories, but also brings back the wonderful memories. They far outweigh the painful memories.

Rest well, Mama. We miss you.